Tuesday, May 27, 2008


I am so excited for Sex and the City the Movie too come out! It is one of my favorite series ever! I got all my roommates hooked on it way back when we lived up in Logan and my Friend Ashley is getting all us old roomies together and we are all going out to eat and then to the movie! I am so looking forward to a fun girls night out! These girls were my whole life four years ago and whenever we get together we just crack up about the good ole Logan days and how much freaking fun we really had! One night they even got in there sexy nighties and got eye covers and watched They way we Were! Lol, so funny Tomas finally bought me the whole series a while back when we were first married he hated when I would watch them but he has come to terms with it and When he works till 1 am and the girls are in bed I pull it on out and watch it over and over! I'm a dork! :) Please bless They Finally get married! I love Mr. Big!

Saturday, May 24, 2008


Wow what a whirlwind of a week for me! I never thought that by sharing what was truly going on with me on my blog would be one of the main things that is making me better today! I cannot tell you all how many people came out of the woodwork for me! People emailed me and shared there stories and there very personal feelings, the phone calls I got all throughout the day, and then the wonderful posts, just letting me know that I am not alone, and That they were all there for me. And then the amazing Friends that I have that just dropped there lives to just come be with me when Tomas had too work, and getting on her hands and knees scrubbing my narly kitchen floor giving me a chance to relax, and just holding me while I cried and letting me talk out my fears ,to watching my girls for me while I got some much needed Tomas and Jayci time. I am forever grateful! Post partum Deppression is such a real thing and so many many mothers are affected by it, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! Don't be afraid to tell someone even if you don't know them that Hey I need a little help. Know your limits and if it gets to be too much just call someone I promise you they will be there for you. You don't want to miss or not be able to remeber when your babies were babies. And they need a Rested, at ease and Happy mother! I have connected with some great support groups and ladies that have been thru this and survived! There is so much Help. Be strong! And please share your feelings you don't even have to make a post, email someone or call if they can't help they will find you help! Thank you again to everyone for your unfailing support I owe you more than you'll ever know!!

But one person stands out to me and of course its my amazing Husband Tomas! Tomas I love you I love I love you! You have been so amazingly strong for me and the girls and you work so very hard so that I can be home with the girls! I can't believe that I was the one lucky enough to have you! YOu are such an amazing father and Reese and Halle will have amazing husbands becasue of the dad you are for them today. Thanks you for being so pateint with me and doing everything within your power to help me get thru this! I love you Tomas! 'NOW AND FOREVER

Sunday, May 18, 2008


So I have tossed and turned and quite literally made myself a little sick, as to whether or not to post about this! LAst night I ran into one of my dearest and closests friends and she said that her and a friend hopped on my blog and were blog hopping around and her friend started crying at all the cute couples and beautiful children and wondering if she would have the same fate as us happy Bloggers and I told my friend well its not like we would blog about the bad things, we want to post the good times not the fights and how hard our children can be sometimes and how we just cry ourselves to sleep sometimes, and the truth is for me I am probably going thru the hardest time in my life so far.. But its hard because I can't understand for the life of me why? I have an amazing husband who just recently told me "jayci I love you for who you are! I love Jayci! And always will.. And the truth is I am having a hard time finding me, and I miss me, I miss my body, I miss my sleep, I miss some me time. But how can I say that how selfish am I being I have two beautiful Healthy baby girls who love me uncondtionally who give me hugs when I am a blubbering mess, Reese loves me even when its my fault she fell and scraped her knee because I was to lazy of a mother to pick up some laundry and toys and she will just cry in my arms to be comforted when its my fault she fell in the first place. I've never ever been one to belive in depression, I feel that a good run and some fun actvities can just lift your spirits and your WHALA okay! But Post Partum Depression sneaks up on you when you least expect it and when you have no idea what it is its hard to admit you have a problem and need some help, if my babies could talk they would ask you why is mommy crying. And the truth is I feel like such a failure, I can't even get my laundry done or get a clean towel for my husband who amazingly thanks me for getting him a little dish rag to dry off with after the shower! Tomas you are an amazing Husband and I literally would be lost without you my love! I have so much to be thankful for and I have everything to get by and things that I need and I feel bad and I am sure people wonder why I am having a pity party for myself but having another baby has rocked my world for the good and the bad, and I am a Fighter I am, but I am feeling so lost right now and always overcome with emotion and so very tired and wish that I could be a better Mother my family deserves someone they can count on and depend on, not an emotional basketcase, and when I tell people that ya I think I am suffering from Post Partum Depression there answers are Medicne and oh you need help Now before you drown your baby in a bath tub! And that scares the hell out of me! I love my girls and would do anything for them! And I would never hurt them, give reese one to many french fries yes :) but I couldn't be more grateful for Reese and Halle, so why am I feeling this way just plain lost!! BLAH!

Saturday, May 17, 2008


So I am not sure when but a few years ago my dad bought a wagon trailer and two big beautiful horses to pull it and decided he wanted to take people on trips and have like a cookout dutchoven style and have them ride around in the wagon and just enjoy the peace and quiet.. The other day he made dinner for a whole bunch of cowboys that were going to be ropin some cattle and branding them. So he invited the family out the night before to test out the food and its always so yummy, cheesy potatoes and homemade rootbeer the works! But it literally was like three hours away our poor car, but we made it and Reese loved running around in the open space and playing with th bubbles and seeing of course the Horses!! oh my word the Horses, she said Horsey and I am not lying like 300 times.. over and over and on the way home BYE HORSEY for like 15 min :) I am sorry to her future husband but you will not be her first love. She loves these beautiful animals and is not afraid to walk all around them between them pet them talk with them ride them nothin, a pea size bug and she freaks but she loves my dads Horses and I am glad we can take her up from time to time and let her be with her true love! :) And also if the world ends or there is a war or something catastrophic I will be moving up with my dad and the wagon and horses! :)

Saturday, May 10, 2008


So after many failed attempts, we finally packed up the baby gear dragged the hubbys and all got together to hang out! For the Jazz game YAY THEY WON! Sorry Kass and Collin :) But really it was so so great to get together and talk and laugh and help eachother out with all of our kids, we literally were all connected at the hip back in the day and I am so glad that are friendships are strong and tight enough to for sure be friends 30 years down the road! ;)

It is so fun to see how big are kids are getting and what great moms Channa, Kass, and Jackie are!

Yay for Parties! We had a riot and stayed up way too late but it was worth it, bbq and the jazz game can't get much better, Brady was at the game but our party had to have been better than that game :)

I really am so glad for my Friendships and not only that but what amazing girls they are.. If someone would have asked me and channa so you think you'll end up being roomates together and hang out everyday, and talk on the phone almost everyother day obsessing about Twilight LoL no one would have quessed.. But Channa has seen me through a lot and she is one of those girls that will be there for you no matter what, she is such a fun person too be around and you will immediatly be comfortable around her, Nate is such a great little guy and how lucky to have a mother like her!

And sweet Kassandra,
Clear back to Mrs. Zollinger 6th grade, kicking random gals in the leg LoL. Kass you are such a good mother, wife, Friend, EVERYTHING :) who know what kinds of things I would have gotten myself into without you around, who would I have drove into some scary guys backyard or garage thing doing drivebys and not wanting to get caught.. And you know we will always be friends when you throw up all over me and we stand in the street and try and clean up with street water and rose petals! :) I love You Kass!

And the reason for all my good fortune with my friends, Ducks :) without whom I would not be the girl I am today. Jackie and Cam took my right under there wing and into dorm rooms LOL she befriended me no quetions asked and before I knew it I was cliff jumping with crazy channa and going to New Years eve parties with a bunch of Rockettes! To watching her get married to her high school sweetheart, and have her two beautiful children! Jack you are such a strong beautiful person and I am so lucky to have you in my life!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Cinco De MAYO!!

Tomas finally had a day off and we decided to head out to the Aquarium in Sandy, Ya its not Sea world :) But Reese really seemed to enjoy herself and see all the fishes and touch the water and see the sharks and Jelly fish.

The fish tanks had so many cool fish and Reese loved the colors..

Touching the Sting Rays..

Just keep swimming. :)

We all had a fun time at the Aquarium and can't wait for Sea world this summer..

And then we came home and got ready to party with Tomas's Brother Rafe and wife Cecilia and their Kids Ara and aidan.. We never see them cuz Tomas and Rafe both work crazy schedules and weekends all the time and we both have two young kids and Ces was just made Relief society president so now she is even more busy they go to this cool spanish speaking ward :) Ces is from Paraguay. We had so much fun playing games and Eating Fajitas and margaritas! SA WEET ;)