BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I CANNOT, CANNOT WAKE UP TO ANOTHER MORNING WITHOUT TOMAS!
He has been delayed for 2 days!
GD WADING POOL!!!

Tomas, Turkey, Taylor!!!!!!!!!!

Tomas comes home TOMORROW!!!
I got the house all cleaned, his jeep bought and parked out front! Its the biggest hunk of metal ever, but Tomas will make it look really good! We are so excited to just relax together and enjoy each others company! Can't wait!

Thanksgiving was a good day! My parents went and chilled with Karlie in St George, soaked up some sun! Me and the girls went to the Rus and Suzanne's house and had turkey with there friends and family! I love love there home!










Then we went to the Chinos for turkey take 2!





I know how sad this is, but I have always been a sucker for bodies like this!!! Freak Kid, he is plastered on every magazine right now, GQ, Mens Health, Teen Vogue, he is everywhere!!!! I think he is beautiful! lol! I love his white teeth and ripped body, veins in his arms... yowza! lol


He said he can't chose between blondes or brunettes, Taylor I got ya covered! lol

Reese Charly Chino,
Okay she is just so darn cute!!!!
She literally is my sun.
My daughters bring me such overwhelming joy.
Tomas comes home in 5 days, and the days could not be going any slower. I'm trying to stay busy. But its going so so slow! We are getting so excited! When we get the chance to talk we quote our favorite movies and talk about our favorite restaurants. I try and send him quotes and things I found this darling quote on amys blog( who by the way has been such a solid rock for me lately)
"You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you, Peter Pan. That's where I'll be waiting."
-Tinkerbell
It hasn't been easy for us this past week, when I feel pushed against a wall, I fight back pretty intensely. I lie, cheat, steal whatever I have to do to get out. But Tomas just Blah can't even explain it, just unconditional love! And the crazy part is he makes me feel that I deserve it! To be loved unconditionally! When the weight of life pushes me down to where I am crawling with my fingernails just to make it,he swoops in and picks me up dusts me off and pushes me forward! I just hold on and all of a sudden, Jayci comes back! I wrap up my regrets in some cloth and put them away, I'll always have them with me, but I'm not carrying them around anymore. Tomas makes me feel whole. Don't know how many of you have been without there husband, otherhalf, whatever for a long period of time but its a hard hard thing to survive, some don't! The constant worry that this could be our last chance to talk, not talking for long periods of time, not knowing if there okay! Ugh!!!!!!!!!! ITS AWFUL! But somehow when we get to talk again, I feel whole and alive! There is no one like you and me tomas! My darling, 5 more days....

my thoughts go out to you,my immortal beloved.I can live only wholly with you or not at all.
Be calm my life,my all.
Only by calm consideration of our existence...can we achieve our purpose to live together.
Oh,continue to love me.
Never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
Ever thine.
Ever mine.
Ever ours.

POSSIBILITY!!

So saw New Moon, at 3AM. lol, Me and tay went to Denny's got some pancakes and then
went in our pj's... ha But wow this song hit me hard! Me and Tomas went through some tough stuff, of my doing of course. Its really hard to have a relationship with phone cards and the delay... But I have a husband who loves me faults and all. He has always and will always be the only constant in my life!!!



There’s a possibility
There’s a possibility
All that I had was all I gon’ get

..MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..

There’s a possibility
There’s a possibility
All I gon' get is gone with your step

So tell me when you hear my heart stop,
You’re the only who knows
Tell me when you hear my silence
There’s a possibility
I wouldn’t know

..MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..
..MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..

Know that when you leave
Know that when you leave
By blood and by mean
You walk like a thief
By blood and by mean
I fall when you leave

So tell me when you hear my heart stop,
You’re the only who knows
Tell me when you hear my silence
There’s a possibility
I wouldn’t know

Tell me when my sigh is over
You’re the reason why I’m close
Tell me if you hear me falling
Theres a possibility
It wouldn’t show

..MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..
..MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..
..MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..

By blood and by mean
I fall when you leave
By blood and by mean
I follow your lead

..MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..
..MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..
..MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..
..MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..

Dear Reese,
Sweet Daughter of mine, I've loved you before you were even here!
Your ability to love and accept baffles me everyday...
Your beautiful curls, and adorable smile helps me to get up every morning and face the world!
Your Daddy loves and misses you so much.
And Halle jay looks up to you so much.
Thanks for the never ending hugs.
Thanks for being just you! I love you Reese Charly!

So when I hear a song that gives me chills I have to post about it!!!

I hope that I got all the lyrics right,
Lady Gaga Rendition of
IMAGINE

Imagine there's no heaven
its easy if you try
no hell below us
And only Mathew in the sky

Imagine all the people
living for today
imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
and no religion to

Imagine all the people
living life in peace
You may say i'm a dreamer
but i'm not the only one

I hope some day you will join us
And the world will live as one

People of the nation
are you listening
it isn't equal if its sometimes
oh what a real democracy

Imagine all the people
could love equally
imagine no possesions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
just a brother hood of land

Imagine all the people
sharing in the world
with nothing to hate and nothing to think,
just people to love them

Friends to have grace
you may say i'm a dreamer
but i'm not the only one
I hope someday you will join us
and the world will live as one!!!

I really don't think I am a gay activist but nor am I against it!
I think I am against not free to be you and me!
I don't think anyone should be persecuted for what they believe! I don't think people should have to die for what they believe either! Free to be you and Me!!!
Anyways isn't lady gaga amazing though! She really has a great voice!

Far away!

Far Away :
I will live my life as a lobsterman's wife on an island in the blue bay.
He will take care of me, he will smell like the sea,
And close to my heart he'll always stay.

I will bear three girls all with strawberry curls, little Ella and
Nelly and Faye.
While I'm combing their hair, I will catch his warm stare
On our island in the blue bay.

Far away far away, I want to go far away.
To a new life on a new shore line.
Where the water is blue and the people are new.
To another island, in another life.

There's a boy next to me and he never will be anything but a boy at the bar.
And I think he's the tops, he's where everything stops.
How I love to love him from afar.

When he walks right pass me then I finally see on this bar stool I can't stay.
So I'm taking my frown to a far distant town
On an island in the blue bay.

Far away far away, I want to go far away.
To a new life on a new shore line.
Where the water is blue and the people are new.
To another island, in another life.

I want to go far away.
Away away, I want to go far away, away, away
I want to go far away, far away.

Where the water is blue and the people are new.
To another life, to another life.
To another shore line
In another life.

SLEEPING????

Happy Birthday, some more pics from my party earlier
Me and Hal
Amy, photo shopped this for me, I love my hair


Halle was getting ready with us!
Girls love my shoes!
Pitty mum, pitty mum

Couldn't decide which to wear, went with the boot

My new hat that Steph gave me!

I love this song in a Good way, MISS YOU TOMAS

Even if you are a million miles away
I could still feel you in my bed
Near me, touch me, feel me

And even at the bottom of the sea
I could still hear it inside my head
Telling me, touch me, feel me
And all the time,

So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had
Tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Have you ever try sleeping with a broken heart?
Well you could try sleeping in my bed
Lonely, own me, nobody ever shut it down like you

You wore the crown, you made my body feel heaven bound
Why don't you hold me, need me
I thought you told me, you'd never leave me

Looking in the sky I could see your face
And I knew right where I fit in
Take me, make me, you know that I'll always be in love with you
Right till the end

So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had
Tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Anybody could've told you right from the start it's 'bout to fall apart
So rather than hold on to a broken dream or just hold on to love
And I could find a way to make it, don't hold on too tight
I'll make it without you tonight

So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had
Tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

LAUGHING WITH...

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one´s laughing at God when they´re starving or freezing or so very poor

No one laughs at God when the doctor calls after some routine tests
No one´s laughing at God when it´s gotten real late
And their kid´s not back from the party yet
No one laughs at God when their airplane starts to uncontrollably shake
No one´s laughing at God when they see the one they love
Hand in hand with someone else and they hope they´re mistaken

No one laughs at God when the cops knock on their door
And they say we got some bad news sir
No one´s laughing at God when there´s a famine fire or flood

But God can be funny
At a cocktail party when listening to a good God-themed joke
Or when the crazies say He hates us
And they get so red in the head you think they´re ´bout to choke

God can be funny
When told he´ll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus
God can be so hilarious
Ha ha
Ha ha

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one´s laughing at God when they´ve lost all they´ve got
And they don´t know what for

No one laughs at God on the day they realize that the last sight they´ll ever see
Is a pair of hateful eyes
No one´s laughing at God when they´re saying their goodbyes

But God can be funny
At a cocktail party when listening to a good God-themed joke
Or when the crazies say He hates us
And they get so red in the head you think they´re ´bout to choke

God can be funny
When told he´ll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus
God can be so hilarious

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one laughing at God in a hospital
No one´s laughing at God in a war

No one´s laughing at God when they´re starving or freezing or so very poor

No one´s laughing at God
No one´s laughing at God
No one´s laughing at God
No one´s laughing at God
We´re all laughing with God

So I turned 26 yesterday and I made out alive!!! IT wasn't really that big of a deal. Except I am now closer to the big 30. I really missed tomas today and yesterday, but he's always with me in a sense... He comes home for 2 WEEKS the first part of december and I am so excited! Its going to fly however, and take forever to get here!!1 I hate that! Anyways I am pretty content with myself at this moment! Two beautiful daughters, a strong husband in every since of the word, I weigh 142! Haven't been that in awhile! And I'm still lovin my hair! lol!!