BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I CANNOT, CANNOT WAKE UP TO ANOTHER MORNING WITHOUT TOMAS!
He has been delayed for 2 days!
GD WADING POOL!!!

Tomas, Turkey, Taylor!!!!!!!!!!

Tomas comes home TOMORROW!!!
I got the house all cleaned, his jeep bought and parked out front! Its the biggest hunk of metal ever, but Tomas will make it look really good! We are so excited to just relax together and enjoy each others company! Can't wait!

Thanksgiving was a good day! My parents went and chilled with Karlie in St George, soaked up some sun! Me and the girls went to the Rus and Suzanne's house and had turkey with there friends and family! I love love there home!










Then we went to the Chinos for turkey take 2!





I know how sad this is, but I have always been a sucker for bodies like this!!! Freak Kid, he is plastered on every magazine right now, GQ, Mens Health, Teen Vogue, he is everywhere!!!! I think he is beautiful! lol! I love his white teeth and ripped body, veins in his arms... yowza! lol


He said he can't chose between blondes or brunettes, Taylor I got ya covered! lol

Reese Charly Chino,
Okay she is just so darn cute!!!!
She literally is my sun.
My daughters bring me such overwhelming joy.
Tomas comes home in 5 days, and the days could not be going any slower. I'm trying to stay busy. But its going so so slow! We are getting so excited! When we get the chance to talk we quote our favorite movies and talk about our favorite restaurants. I try and send him quotes and things I found this darling quote on amys blog( who by the way has been such a solid rock for me lately)
"You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you, Peter Pan. That's where I'll be waiting."
-Tinkerbell
It hasn't been easy for us this past week, when I feel pushed against a wall, I fight back pretty intensely. I lie, cheat, steal whatever I have to do to get out. But Tomas just Blah can't even explain it, just unconditional love! And the crazy part is he makes me feel that I deserve it! To be loved unconditionally! When the weight of life pushes me down to where I am crawling with my fingernails just to make it,he swoops in and picks me up dusts me off and pushes me forward! I just hold on and all of a sudden, Jayci comes back! I wrap up my regrets in some cloth and put them away, I'll always have them with me, but I'm not carrying them around anymore. Tomas makes me feel whole. Don't know how many of you have been without there husband, otherhalf, whatever for a long period of time but its a hard hard thing to survive, some don't! The constant worry that this could be our last chance to talk, not talking for long periods of time, not knowing if there okay! Ugh!!!!!!!!!! ITS AWFUL! But somehow when we get to talk again, I feel whole and alive! There is no one like you and me tomas! My darling, 5 more days....

my thoughts go out to you,my immortal beloved.I can live only wholly with you or not at all.
Be calm my life,my all.
Only by calm consideration of our existence...can we achieve our purpose to live together.
Oh,continue to love me.
Never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
Ever thine.
Ever mine.
Ever ours.

POSSIBILITY!!

So saw New Moon, at 3AM. lol, Me and tay went to Denny's got some pancakes and then
went in our pj's... ha But wow this song hit me hard! Me and Tomas went through some tough stuff, of my doing of course. Its really hard to have a relationship with phone cards and the delay... But I have a husband who loves me faults and all. He has always and will always be the only constant in my life!!!



There’s a possibility
There’s a possibility
All that I had was all I gon’ get

..MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..

There’s a possibility
There’s a possibility
All I gon' get is gone with your step

So tell me when you hear my heart stop,
You’re the only who knows
Tell me when you hear my silence
There’s a possibility
I wouldn’t know

..MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..
..MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..

Know that when you leave
Know that when you leave
By blood and by mean
You walk like a thief
By blood and by mean
I fall when you leave

So tell me when you hear my heart stop,
You’re the only who knows
Tell me when you hear my silence
There’s a possibility
I wouldn’t know

Tell me when my sigh is over
You’re the reason why I’m close
Tell me if you hear me falling
Theres a possibility
It wouldn’t show

..MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..
..MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..
..MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..

By blood and by mean
I fall when you leave
By blood and by mean
I follow your lead

..MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..
..MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..
..MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..
..MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..

Dear Reese,
Sweet Daughter of mine, I've loved you before you were even here!
Your ability to love and accept baffles me everyday...
Your beautiful curls, and adorable smile helps me to get up every morning and face the world!
Your Daddy loves and misses you so much.
And Halle jay looks up to you so much.
Thanks for the never ending hugs.
Thanks for being just you! I love you Reese Charly!

So when I hear a song that gives me chills I have to post about it!!!

I hope that I got all the lyrics right,
Lady Gaga Rendition of
IMAGINE

Imagine there's no heaven
its easy if you try
no hell below us
And only Mathew in the sky

Imagine all the people
living for today
imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
and no religion to

Imagine all the people
living life in peace
You may say i'm a dreamer
but i'm not the only one

I hope some day you will join us
And the world will live as one

People of the nation
are you listening
it isn't equal if its sometimes
oh what a real democracy

Imagine all the people
could love equally
imagine no possesions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
just a brother hood of land

Imagine all the people
sharing in the world
with nothing to hate and nothing to think,
just people to love them

Friends to have grace
you may say i'm a dreamer
but i'm not the only one
I hope someday you will join us
and the world will live as one!!!

I really don't think I am a gay activist but nor am I against it!
I think I am against not free to be you and me!
I don't think anyone should be persecuted for what they believe! I don't think people should have to die for what they believe either! Free to be you and Me!!!
Anyways isn't lady gaga amazing though! She really has a great voice!

Far away!

Far Away :
I will live my life as a lobsterman's wife on an island in the blue bay.
He will take care of me, he will smell like the sea,
And close to my heart he'll always stay.

I will bear three girls all with strawberry curls, little Ella and
Nelly and Faye.
While I'm combing their hair, I will catch his warm stare
On our island in the blue bay.

Far away far away, I want to go far away.
To a new life on a new shore line.
Where the water is blue and the people are new.
To another island, in another life.

There's a boy next to me and he never will be anything but a boy at the bar.
And I think he's the tops, he's where everything stops.
How I love to love him from afar.

When he walks right pass me then I finally see on this bar stool I can't stay.
So I'm taking my frown to a far distant town
On an island in the blue bay.

Far away far away, I want to go far away.
To a new life on a new shore line.
Where the water is blue and the people are new.
To another island, in another life.

I want to go far away.
Away away, I want to go far away, away, away
I want to go far away, far away.

Where the water is blue and the people are new.
To another life, to another life.
To another shore line
In another life.